Q&A: How do I rebuild myself after a major personal loss?


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Q: For those who are going through a life-changing experience (e.g. death of loved one, divorce), how do they rebuild their identity and goals in life?
A: (Shaykh Abdul Aziz Fredericks) Realize that what you are going through strips you of your identity and persona so you can realise the essence of your being. ”Allah doesn’t look at your outward but at your heart.” Look at the blessings and be thankful about everything, and then try to fight with what you’re going through. Allah loves the person who picks themselves up, then falls down and still picks themselves up.

A: (Dr Omar Mahmood) Sometimes this loss decimates our identity because we took the thing that we lost to define our identity. Take the time to redefine yourself. This helps you to move forward. Sometimes we are so sceptical about trying new things, meeting new people, having different goals. That can actually be very detrimental. Try to be positive and open to changes.