Q: I am on the verge of divorce. I look up to someone whom I wish my husband could be like him. Am I sinful? What can I do to save my marriage?
A: (Dr Omar): We have this tendency today to compare ourselves to other people’s situations and wish we could be like that situation. But there’s no way you can fully know the details of what’s happening to others. It might just be that they appear to be happy, but there could be a lot of other things happening that you don’t know about, and your marriage might be a thousand times better. Don’t look for faults all the time in your relationship; I’m not trying to downplay the fact that there are faults in marriage that make it very difficult to stay together, but it’s important to look at each other’s strengths and to look at yourself and ask yourself what else can you do to try to make the situation better? Maybe you can even look at intervention in your marriage, like consulting someone in the community whom you really trust and respect and asking them to mediate.
A: (Dr Sawssan): If you don’t want to get divorced, one of the first things that they do in marital therapy is to talk about what made you attracted to that person in the first place. Another thing that research has found is that actions go a long way. Simple things like spending time together and doing something that you’ve never done together, those kinds of shared experiences. If you think you’re close to divorce, then going for marital therapy might be helpful but these are just some things they’ll do with you in therapy anyways.
This question was answered by Dr Omar Mahmood and Dr Sawssan Ahmed at The Sacred Path of Love 2016.