Q&A: I had an abortion. How can I not blame myself for it?

regret woman

Q: I committed zina and I decided to abort the baby. After the abortion, I’m going through a lot of severe pain mentally and emotionally. I have started to pray, but it’s still hard for me. How can I not blame myself for the abortion?

A: Dr Omar: The fact that Allah has sent this hardship to you is a sign that you can endure it, and you can get through it. Sayyidina Umar al Khattab said when he thinks about jahiliyyah there are two things: one that makes me laugh and one that makes me cry. I used to worship this idol and when I was hungry I used to eat parts of him. The thing that makes me cry is when I buried my daughter. I was digging the grave and a lot of dust got in my beard, and her little hand came up to wipe it from my beard. It made me cry. So these are very torturous things to go through. This is amirul mu’mineen, and even years after he converted to Islam, he still felt the emotional pain. It’s human. Don’t blame yourself for it. These experiences are part of what makes us us.

A: Dr Sawssan: It sounds like the person is feeling guilty and that Allah is punishing her for what she did. I would basically remind her of what the shaykh has said about the conditions of repentance. If she’s fulfilled all the conditions of repentance (leaving the sin, regretting the sin, resolving not to return it & returning the rights/property you took from someone else if any), then after that, you just need to let it go. It’s not part of our faith to believe that we got sick because of things we did in the past, or that we got a disease because we did something bad in the past before. It’s not something we believe in as Muslims. Have patience, Allah is not punishing you.

This question was answered at The Sacred Path of Love 2016.