Man in the Mirror – Reflections on the Self

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The Sacred Path of Love 2016 Day 1

Man in the Mirror

by Imam Abdoulaye Ndaw

It is not our choice that we are Muslims. It is by Allah’s grace and mercy that we are Muslims. Allah told us, “You do not guide those whom you choose, but indeed We are the One who guides whomever you choose.” So when Allah guides us here, to be sitting in this hall, we have to be grateful to Him.

In the Love Life Regret talk by Dr Sawssan, we talked about what other people do to us that breaks the relationship and hurts us. In this talk, we talk about what we do to ourselves.

Allah says, “Tell my slaves who transgress against themselves, for Allah SWT forgives all sins.” But some sins that are done against others, need that person who has been wronged to forgive you in order for Allah to forgive you.

Allah will take from the good deeds of the transgressor and add it to the good deeds of the one who was transgressed against.

Allah SWT told us in the Quran, “On the day of Judgment, it will not benefit you (your friends, family, wealth) unless you come to Us with a clean heart.”

You have control of all your 5 senses, except your “qalb”: your heart. It is almost completely independent and on its own. It needs to be trained. Disobedience, ma’siah, arrogance and envy can make the heart sick.

The garment of a human being is something that is so close to you. Allah is using these two words: garment and cloak. A human being doesn’t want anything to be between his garment and his cloak.

None of you should belittle the other person. Small words that we may not realize matter can have a huge impact on someone else. It is those small words that we should be careful of uttering.

One of the scholars mentioned that there is no way that Allah mentioned Hawa as the one who made Adam ate the fruit: it was Adam. Adam’s eating of the fruit out of temptation is something that can be forgiven by Allah. Adam repented and Allah forgave him. Whereas Iblis never repented from his arrogance in refusing to bow to Adam.

Allah says, “Those who are arrogant in respecting my orders, they will dwell in Hellfire.” “One of an atom’s weight of arrogance will never enter into Jannah.

Arrogance is something that you feel inside your heart that makes you think you are a better person than someone else. You no longer feel dependent on what Allah bestows upon you, instead you keep focusing on “I am this, I am that.”

Arrogance will stand between you and Reality, you and the Truth, and it stands between you and benefitting from what the other person has to offer.

This Qur’an that we have is a manual of how to be a human being. It teaches us what to do in every situation. You have to enumerate your problems and see what you can do about each problem. Read the Quran and you will find the solution to every problem that you’re going through.

Arrogance is a quality, a behavior. Sayyidina Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wasallam came to perfect our manners.

Be humble to one another. When we humble ourselves to Allah, when we have tawaadhu (humility), we become gentle without being weak.

Shaykh Ibrahim Niasse said, “The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam is your best example for those who are seeking Allah on the day of judgment.” You want to be amongst those who are united with Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam on the Day of Judgment, so you must obey the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam. What kind of person was he? How did he talk? How did he carry himself?

Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam, as soon as he gets home, he is with his family. He will cut the meat when the meat needs to be cut. He will milk the animal when the animal needs to be milked. He will sew his own clothes when they need to be sewn. So how are we, as men, following after this? Today we blame our wives for everything in the house. A lot of the time, marriages are broken because of this.

How many situations have there been today where the man choose his own arrogance and it leads to a divorce?

Our response to an invitation depends on who is inviting us. If it is someone we know, we will go. If it is someone we do not know, we don’t go. Our arrogance keeps us from accepting the invitation. But the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam, whenever anyone invites him, he would go and it doesn’t matter who the person was.

Your behavior towards another human being is what will save you. It is what Allah is asking from us. You have to be humble enough, and kind enough to others. You have to be the one whom others love to be in their presence because you are kind and gentle, not because you are boastful.

Greatness and pride are two qualities that belong only to Allah.

This problem of arrogance and being boastful is not a problem that is unique only to us. The people of the past used to have this problem too, even the Sahabah. When they went to battle in large numbers, they thought no one could beat them.

Whenever you become dependent on the “I”, Allah will leave you to yourself, because you alone cannot do anything. Allah is the One that gives and takes everything from you.

Allah gave honor to human beings. Who are we to be belittling those whom Allah gave honor to? For you and I to be able to clean this heart and make it the best place for Allah to live in, you have to stay in the remembrance of Allah SWT. This is what gets you to where you need to be: closer to Allah SWT.