Q: I have been married for four years. Recently I have discovered that my wife has been drinking alcohol and having drugs despite the fact that we have two children. She lied to me until I caught her in the act. Most of the time the way I react is very negative. Do you have any advice for me?
A: When someone is committing a sin, he needs a lot of care. Treat them with kindness and mercy. Pray for them and take care of them. Someone who falls into sin is more in need of our gentleness and love than someone who isn’t. The most difficult situation is when you find someone you are close to that you love, committing sin. But you must be patient with them, and the outcome will be positive in the end. If you are negative with them, the outcome will be negative in the end.
If you tell them that you disown them, and you abandon them, then that person will be free to do as they want. This is why we shouldn’t be negative. The Prophet salAllahualayhiwassalam was always positive with people who went astray so that they would come back. He taught us to give glad tidings to people and don’t make them run away.
– Shaykh Mohammed Aslam,
24 September 2016
(Taken from Q&A segment, Friendship with God: Trust, Certainty, Loyalty)